We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
