How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
