I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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