I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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