You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
