While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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