When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
