I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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