Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
