More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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