Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
