Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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