Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
