if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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