PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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