wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
