I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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