Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
