We won't sleep together?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
