There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I need a beard to bite.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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