Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
