I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
This is my gift to your gina
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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