it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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