did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
