My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
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