porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
