Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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