Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
