i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
