try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
