a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
