He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
