Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
