you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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