For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
