Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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