toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
