ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Randomize
