Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
