can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
