mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
