I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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