Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
