i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
