is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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