people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
