OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
