College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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