Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
