I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
