dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
