Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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