there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
